Captivating

I have been reading a pretty powerful book entitled, Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge. The sub title reads, Unveiling the Mystery of a Women's Soul. K told me about it a while ago..... and how much it blessed her. My Aunt Laura told me about it a few weeks ago. I happened to find it at the library, and felt it was the Lord's way of nudging me to pick the thing up.

This statement on the inside of the jacket immediately jumped out:

"Life is harsh on the heart of a girl. Remember your fairy tales--the villian always goes after the beauty. The story of your life is the story of the long and sustained assault on your heart by the one who knows who you could be-- and fears you. But every story also has a Hero. The story of your life is also the story of the long and passionate pursuit of your heart by the God who comes both to ransom and restore you as a captivating women."

So far, the Lord has allowed this book to speak to me in deep ways. The struggle wihin my heart has been raging for a few months. I just turned 40. Is it mid-life crisis? All I understand is that I have dealt with a deep-seated restlessness that is unbareable. A concrete feeling of wanting to run...... strange as it may seem. Not run and fly off to a tropical island, but literally RUN. Forest Gump-run. Like I awoke to say, Huh? Where am I? The drive to stay enomously busy was insane. It was as if I could keep my brain from flying down these passages that held this questioning.

I am so very thankful for all the blessings God has given me, but these feelings were overwhelming. An underlying feeling that I should not want more. I am too this, not enough this. How can I be better at this? More available to this person? Then shame sets in when I realze I cannot do and be it all. Church and society make it even more difficult for women in this capacity. Some good-meaning Christians say "If you are worried about those trivial things, you should be doing more for others". The busy Proverbs 31 gal.... we can never measure up. The dispair of making women feel that the only purpose here on this planet is not fellowship with God, but their only purpose is to complete a man. What about the pursuer of your heart? Did God make us for a relationship with Him? Oh Yes.

I am still reading this, and I look forward to what the Lord wants to reveal. I will not give any more gems away lest I spoil it for others who have not had the opportunity to take in this work by the Eldredges. I appreciate the proddings to seek the book. I pray the Lord will use it in a mighty way.